Scandinavian men abroad are suspect tho.

Why did some big drunk swedish man, who can clearly see me in my chair, try to lift me out of it and dance with me despite just telling him I was partially paralyzed? Needless to say, it didn’t go so well. ALL those women and you’re trying to dance with ME???? and stop touching my face dude, in fact just don’t touch me. What is going on here??? I almost got molested, I feel violated. The hell with this, I’m going to start carrying a knife, these Scandinavians be getting too fruity. Actually, european men in general. Compliments are fine but the face touching, cheek kissing, and now trying to dance is just…no. stoppit. ūüė°


Chinese milk doesnt go bad???

entry: 5/28/12

Back in Qingdao, and um, Ive had this carton of milk in my frig for like a month. I opened it and it wasn’t bad, no smell, no lumps, nothing. Now I’m curious as to what is in my chinese milk. Surely that can’t be a good sign. o_O

You know you’re back in China when:¬†¬†the left lane to make a left turn, rushes to turn¬†( per law like the rest of the world its yield lol) before¬†oncoming traffic, cutting everyone off, ¬†including buses, women and children. Just cut all of them off, who cares. and the third car that tries to beat the oncoming traffic squeezes in so tight he’s driving¬†in between people crossing the street, dodging cars hahaha

this milk doesnt go bad. hmmm

My first weekend in Seoul

entry: 5/26/12

Big ups the korean mama-san and the itaewon pimp that kept buying me rum and cokes despite being extreme light weights and stumbling about breaking damn near every glass in¬†¬†the pool hall. Im from china trick, we heavyweights. Korea aint got nothing on what we do in Qingdao. I felt kinda bad for them. lololol The koreans were very embarrassed toward their behavior, but to me, this was every day chinese behavior –¬†seeing people unable to walk, spilling all over the side walks, an every day in good ol Qingdao.¬†*shrugs*.

Im staying in a love motel, hilarious how they try to mask it, yea because I cant see the business guys over 40 with 20 year olds running around. OK. Anyways I got a chance to catch the Mayweather fight against Cotto, and then linked up with my boy Bernard and his gf. They took me to a nice restaurant where I got a chance to eat some steak. mmmm. Its been awhile.

Bernard and his gf

You can take the Chinese out of the third world, but you can’t take the third world out the Chinese.

entry: 5/24/12

I noticed that when I moved to Shibei, its alot different than other parts of town like CBD (central business district) or Chengyang (where many koreans live) or Badaguan (many rich chinese). Shibei is an old district where many people are adjusting to the new modernization of the city. You see interesting things in my complex because despite it being quite modern, you will occasionally see some interesting things; like clothes being hung, motorcycles being parked near the elevators (on my floor which is on the 11th lol), dog piss IN the elevator, garbage scattered around in various areas etc. But the cool thing about the building is there are no laws in terms of residential and commerce division. For example, there are 40 floors, and many people cook out of their apartments and deliver to various floors. Theres a barbershop, dentist, 24 hour market, whore houses and many other various commerce in my apartment complex. Its almost like the movie Judge Dredd. Its actually pretty cool to be honest, I never have to leave. Everything is here. But there are moments when the fighting, yelling, drunkards, cig smokers in the elevator get on my nerves. Pros and Cons I suppose. ha.

Just hang your clothes in the lobby area of my luxury apartment. No problems.

Trying to find deodorant and cologne has become quite the easter hunt

entry: 5/19/12

Cultural differences and all that. Found some body spray….at the pharmacy of all places, it smells really good. Guess I’m going to have to rock that for now. Yea well apparently the chinese dont generally wear deodorant. Its not to say NONE do. Some probably do, but many…and by many I mean vast majority, do not. Ive come to the conclusion that it might be due to the lack of body hair and possibly pheromones (Im not making this up, studies show). The women during the winter sometimes can go a coupe of days without showering and smell perfectly fine. Men can too, unless they are doing very physical jobs, for example taxi drivers…and they sometimes do not. ew.¬†lol

See us black folks, nah, we pumping out A LOT of pheromones, you better wash that ass son. lol. How you the size of Kimbo Slice trying to walk around without deodorant oh hell naw. O_o. Folks like us, italians, armenians, we drench ourselves because we know what time it is. ha!

I tried Korean food again today, and I stand by my statement that korean food is awful. My taste buds DO NOT WANT.

Lately Ive been shopping at the grocery store late. I like to go to my supermarket which closes at 9:30, between the hours of 9:10-9:30. Mostly because Im just not in the mood for a group of spectators, I just want to  grab a bottle of sprite and eggs, without the spectacle you know?  Try going to the supermarket at 6pm aka the after work crowd HO HO HO. Get ready for action!!! I should video tape it one of these days. I now know what celebrities go through.

Chinese bathrooms: That smell tho.

entry: 4/1/12

I wish all public bathrooms were like 5 star bathrooms, with automatic flush and faucets, ambient music, automatic scent releaser, with a doorman that gives you assorted mints. Instead, the public bathroom reek of dead body, piss hole in the ground, no soap, no flush, no paper towel, and a slippery floor that if you slip, you will catch sars.


Normally I don’t take a shat in public restrooms I wait until I get home, but I had some bad mussels or something, and the bubblies struck me. In 2.5 seconds I went from -_- to O_O. ¬†I get in there, and I’m like uh oh.

The floors are always slippery, so imagine how carefully you must walk because one mistake and it’ll be a life changing experience. I cant really tell if its water, or ancient old piss which of course since they dont use bleach, is probably piss with water rinsed around. Imagine how I felt when I¬†notice my shoe laces were untied and ¬†had¬†been dragged across the piss wet bathroom floor, yep :sigh:. At this point I just realized I’d never actually used the hole¬†to shit in before, I pause for a second, like wow I’m going to actually squat, which is tough to do when the floor feels like its covered in vegetable oil and youre partially paralyzed, the closer you squat the bigger whiff of that god awful sewage you get. I felt so stupid, confused, dumb, mad, worried. It doesn’t even make sense, the hole is so small while the plate is so big, by default the shit lands on the plate, the smell resonates since it’s just there. You try to flush, pffftt, chinese plumbing is piss weak, it’s literally like trying to spray down shit with a 50 cent¬†water gun. Then when you’re done, better have toilet paper playboy because none of the bathrooms have them. I should also add, again, the floors are very very slippery with years of ¬†piss, it’s so potent you can taste it, it stays in your sinus for an hour. Alas¬†there I am texting my friend to bring me some toilet paper from across the street, waiting there marinating in that awfulness for 5-10 min. ¬†Nevermind there was no soap to wash my hands after. O_o

I dread going in the public restrooms here, but I have too because I’m always drinking big ass 500ml beers for 75 cents. Seriously Im considering switching to wine just so I dont have to go. You can’t get used to that smell, you just have to hold your lungs like a professional¬†scuba diver. I’m a master now.

Woke up to construction workers drilling my wall. Masculinity tested.

Entry: 3/21/12

Woke up to construction workers drilling into my wall, granted, I wake up to construction work every day (I’m serious), but this one made me scream like a japanese school girl :*(. Thank god I didnt have anyone over, because she would have lost all respect for my masculinity; how high pitched and loud my scream was and the way I fought off those sheets…:facepalm:. I swear to god, it sounded like they were drilling into solid copper, RIGHT INTO MY EAR!!!!! Imagine a loud CLAAANNNNNGG BRRRRRRR CLAAAANG out of no where! while youre nicely tucked in snuggling your pillow, embedded into your fluffy bed like a soft cloud then BAM! My heart was hurting so bad I thought maybe, just maybe, I was hearing death. Like in the middle of the nite¬†someone shot me in the head and thats the noise it made. I was too scared and my heart hurt too much to muster up anger. I just sat there with a confused look, blood shot eyes, morning crust and loud drilling for a good 10 min. They stopped shortly after.


photo by knox

Construction: It’s a part of living in a country that is always building and have¬†no regulations. I’ve learned to sleep with studio headphones on.