I see this mid sized hairy spider on the wall. I’m like “you know you dun fucked up right? now you know you dun fucked up?” I aim my AK shower head at it, and right before the water hit it, it jumped off the wall, and at me. why did I do the chicken dance like Mayweather hit me with a stiff left jab, then did the dougie (if you’re under 30 just google it), and I may or may not have let out a homer simpson scream. son of a bi…..and I don’t think it went in the drain, so this bastard is still in the house, and now vengeful. FUCK.
Everything made BY the chinese are cheap and will break in a month. But 90% of the things you own, that you’ve had for years, are made by the …….
you ever notice women with solid men do the least amount of talking online. no quotes, no stories, no nothing. Too busy taking care of them to even bother being on here swanning. and men themselves will tell the woman ‘you’re doing too much knock that shit off’. thats how i know which friends are in good marriages, the ones i hardly see posting on here. yall know who you are. good job you, im proud of you. me on the other hand. everybody getting smashed and 100 thots posting subliminals and soundtracks about my demise. smh. too old for this.
I have a peacock feather on my wrist. Someone said it’s for girls. Newsflash: The peacock with the flamboyant feathers, is actually a male (peahen, are females, and do not have flamboyant feathers), peacock feathers are used to attract females. Remember this every time you see a chick with a ‘cute’ peacock feather tattoo. #doyourresearch#transgendertatts #dontassumethepeacocksgender#yadoingitwrong
It’s been a long time since I’ve updated my site. So much as been happening, my brother also came to visit back in Feb. BUT I will be doing much more updates this second half of the year. Stay tuned!
I woke up to pee only to see huge ass roach the size of a ps4 controller on my tooth brush, after spraying it down the sink with hot water and before getting back to bed I decide to get a handful of flaming hot cheetos, I dip my hand in the bag, and its full of ants (wtf i didn’t even know ants liked spicy food). Did I forget to mention I’m on the 41st floor of a luxury condo? Imagine being in a single floor home in a province. I’d be tusslin with wolves and mongoose, the fuck is goin on. #welcometothephilippines #philippinesproblems #tropics
I really, really hate when people ask me if I ate. Unless you plan on whipping up a meal don’t ask me this stupid question. If I did, what? if I didn’t what? you gonna whip something up? because if not, don’t ask me this dumb ass question. My stomach will remind me to eat, you don’t need to ask. I can assure you, that my body will tell me that it needs calories to survive, I don’t need another human being to curiously ask me if its been filled. Do I ask you “you put gas in your car this afternoon? make sure to put gas in your car” I know it’s courtesy in some cultures, to show you care, yea well in my culture its a dumb ass question. How about a more in depth question? “What has been filling your mind these past 3 days” see? now thats a good one huh? ffs
I never did update my website to inform that I live in Manila now. I have been here since June, so about 4 months and its been the best move I’ve made thus far. Things have been going good and I plan to buy a house in 2020, yes, I will be here long term. Warm weather, warm people whom speak english, cheap cost of living, and general courtesy that I have missed all these years. Random fact: Outside of North America, Philippines have the most american expats in the world.
Anyways I guess I should change my bio to ‘welcome to manila’. I have begun a new chapter in a new country, and I’m happy.
Every so often the chinese will present a new burger of some sort at one of their fast food chains (McDonald’s, Burger King, KFC), think McRib or some other new ‘limited time only’ specials in the U.S. Now, in the U.S, usually the new limited time only specials are something epic, I mean think about how popular the McRib is, they’ve made a damn Simpson episode about it. Well, that just isn’t the case in china, 10 out of 10 their new burgers or specials are something utterly terrible. I feel as though I’m being trolled or someone just sat in a meeting room thought long and hard about the most random and most disgusting burger they can come up with, because I think, to them, that is what we westerners eat, random combination of ingredients. I don’t think they realize there’s a science to it, actual flavors that have been proven to mesh via decades if not centuries of trial and error.
I see a new burger at Burger King, but every year I forget not to try any new burgers and to stick to the regular stuff like a chicken burger made with confetti lettuce (it probably is made out of paper for all I know), but you get sick of the stuff and sometimes you see something new and because back home you’re programmed to assume the ‘limited time only special’ will be good, you try it. The burger, with what looks like a thick chicken patty, thick cheddar cheese and some sauces looked quite good in the picture, couldn’t read it, just assumed that’s what it was and that it would taste great —WRONG—WRONG. The thick chicken patty was a very small thin layer of fish, the thick cheddar cheese were thick slices of mango, and the sauces were what appeared to be shredded shrimp and ketchup. ABSOLUTELY FOUL. Now at this point my taste buds are confused and my brain is sending a signal of anger. How? Why? Who? I ask my gf if mango and fish are a common combination in china…she says no. THEN WHY, WHY DOES THIS BURGER HAVE IT? I swear, they are just fucking around and trolling at this point. This doesn’t make sense. This is about as dumb as the time I went to the “Burrito” spot and the guy gave me tacos that had slices of almonds in it, and a burrito that had corn, egg plants and I think apricot (I’m not kidding), or the time I went to a fish and chips place and she used soy sauce instead of tartar. This is an abomination! No one taught them to do this, they are just making stuff up, mixing them in dishes for absolutely no reason.
This is why I can’t wait to go home in 2 months. It’s been a little over 2 years since I’ve been home. I am hungry, starving, losing weight, I just want something that taste normal. Is that so hard? Is a beef patty with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and onions that difficult? Is a burrito with carne asada, salsa and cilantro too much to ask? If these lazy ass foreigners aren’t going to open any new restaurants out here (excluding italians), I may just have too, seriously this makes no sense.
Not really in the mood to upload them to this site, but you can find photos @ instagram.com/travelingknox
It was quite an interesting experience. Exactly what I expected. The food was good, the roads were hectic and monuments were ancient. People were friendly but the customer service sucked (funny how they’ve outsourced our customer service there). I saw wild cows and dogs on the road, and found out new dehli was predominately hindu and muslim, not as many buddhists nor Gautama statues as I anticipated.
The tipping culture reminded me that of the U.S which threw me off since I haven’t been in a tipping culture in over 5 years and haven’t been back to the U.S in 2, so having to dig in my pocket to fork over 15% was a little annoying but luckily it was just rupees and the conversion rate is crazy. Speaking of conversion, you’ll of course go shopping and get haggled, have people following you around asking for money (they put extra effort into tourists of course) and you’ll find out that you can bargain prices of items down to damn near 60%, which makes you skeptical of every negotiation you have.
All in all, nothing I haven’t dealt with, and I recommend everyone at least visit once in their life.