I woke up in a new buga…just kidding. I woke up in an old chinese taxi.

entry: 10/19/13

True story this happens quite often when I’m tired, stuck in traffic, and woken up at my place by the driver. Its crazier when you dream you’re home, only to find yourself surrounded by characters like the matrix.

You know what I hate? When someone comes to the crib and starts drinking out of the big gatorade bottle like it’s a 20oz straight to the neck. WTF that’s a liter asshole pour it in a cup!!!!! Prick didn’t even finish it so now I have a half liter of gatorade wasted with back wash. F*CK.

im not quite sure, but i think this was my bday. im just assuming by all the attention im getting, i cant remember much of it.

Didn’t even realize I was eating pig feet. *sigh*

entry: 7/15/13

So now that I’ve moved to Chengyang (countryside), its gotten quite harder to find food. Before, living above the mall complex, I could just go down to the mall, and I had an entire floor with various restaurants, even a McDonald’s and Papa Johns. Well, now not so much. Theres 2 maybe 3 restaurants in the complex I live, which is sort of a village in the middle of no where called Blue Island, which is ironic because it sure as hell feels like I’m on one.  Chengyang is large, and there are many restaurants and supermarkets in DOWNTOWN Chengyang, but of course I don’t live there, I live on the outskirt where its freaking hard as hell to grab a taxi….BLUE ISLAND. The biggest supermarket near me is…..look at the pic above at the header..ya. 😦

Chen and Christina helped read, and recognize some food I may enjoy at one of the restaurants, one of the dishes was pork, in stew, with rice and seaweed. Now this stuff is really good I quite like it, but little did I know the bone Id be sucking meat off of was foot. Did I forget to mention I don’t really like swine and I’ve only been eating this because it taste good and quite frankly I don’t have many fucking options now do I? When in Rome.

Oh and look what I found in my stew the other day.

pretty sure this is normal and was supposed to be in the stew too. haha

outside, roaming around the complex. katrina came to visit for a couple of days from shanghai so its not been entirely lonesome.

outside, roaming around the complex. katrina came to visit for a couple of days from shanghai so its not been entirely lonesome.

Story about the stalker girl .

entry: current.

So I figure as I sit here in a bar off my 3rd glass of wine, its a perfect time to talk about the story I promised to explain about the chinese girl whom I had to take to the police station. Why not?

It all started when I met this girl in a bar while I was hanging out with my Taiwanese friend, Eva. She sat next to us, and we talked to her, she later revealed she plays the piano…great because I make music and so I figured this would be a good network to have her play and use some samples. I didn’t think much of it. Anyways the next day I get a phone call from her,  she is asking me what I’m up too. I guess she went back to the bar and thought that I would be there again (on a Sunday? um no), I told her I was home and relaxing. She asks if she can come over and chill….hmmmm…at 11pm? errr ok.

She comes over and she has a bag which appears to be clothes…hmmmm……signs are interesting here.  Anyways she ends up spending the night ahem. Nothing too unusual about that but she ends up staying for like 3 days. I didnt really have a problem with it. Good times ya know? Anyways this girl starts getting hella bogus and stalkerish like coming over without calling. She came over a couple of times after that but she would always stay for a day or 2, and do things like call and say shes at the mall complex shopping and if she could come over because shes in the area, and then when I would agree, literally be at my door within 5 min….wtf!!!!!!

So remember how I said I was moving? She offered for me to stay at her place, which was great because I just needed a place to stay for like a week and she wasn’t charging. I figured meh, I know its a bad idea but I was a bit desperate at that time. She also helped me move….and put my stuff in her house. Now granted something strange happened when we got to her place with Chen, who drove. we get there…and as soon as Chen leaves…she leaves, wtf? I have nothing in the frig (not even water) and she disappears. Well I wake up in the morning and decide this isn’t good for me, so I called up an american friend of mine Eugene and tell him to pick me up, I loaded up a backpack with about 3-4 days worth of clothes and I was outta there. Luckily I had a plan B. The beach house I was staying in the earlier entry. I had booked that with my spanish friend Jose he said I could stay there while he was in Spain, his place was in  in badaguan (old german colony part of town) it was baller so why not.

Here is where things get a bit weird. Once the girl found out that I moved out…she starts freaking out. I started getting some extremely patriotic, almost communist speeches, at this point…I’m freaking out because my stuff…all my stuff is at her house. Uh Oh.

By now its the end of the week and my place in Chengyang was ready, I could get my stuff from her place and get my shit out ASAP. I call her up and tell her I need my stuff, she starts giving me loaded excuse about how shes not home. WTF. This chick is always home (except when Im there). She was keeping my stuff hostage! I called Chen and told him to call her to tell her to stop fucking around. I guess because Chen is an older chinese gent, she stated we could grab my cloths Saturday morning. I think she thought we were playing but we rolled over there first thing in the morning, there was no way I was going to risk my possessions   at her place. We knock and knock and knock….she finally answers after pretending to be asleep. Me and Chen go in there and load his car up with my stuff, I went back for the last box…and here is where shit gets real. Chen is downstairs waiting for me……I come out the room….and she is blocking the door ….yooooo wtf? Shes in front of the door and wont let me leave!. I’m like yo what are you doing? Quit playing. It was like something out of the movies. As soon as I would go to grab her to move her out the way, she would yell as if I was harming her..uh oh no good hands off.  She starts asking me why I wanted to leave and why I wouldn’t stay with her…err did you forget about the text message you sent me 48 hours ago? and about how america and americans should burn in hell?  I tell her its because I found a cheap place and that her area wasn’t suitable for me. She starts crying and pouting telling me I owed her money for storing my stuff at her place (an excuse) and that she was going to call her dad if I didn’t pay up…well I agree that she should call her dad…at this point Chen is knocking on her door like crazy because its been about 20 min and I haven’t gone down. Through the door I’m telling him what is happening and so he calls the cops.

She finally opens the door and we all go outside. Her dad, the cops, magically all appear at the same time. Now at this point I don’t know whats going on because everything, including her crying, is being said in chinese, but from what I gather with my limited chinese is that she is lying to them telling them her I owe her money  for storing my clothes (using an excuse for her insanity). The cops ask her where the contract is? She obviously doesn’t have one. Now the cops are starting to sense her bullshit…even her father. A crowd has now also formed outside to see the spectacle. :facepalm: eventually the cops decide I’m innocent but we still need to file a report and they also need to see my passport (which was in the beach house) to make sure I was in the country legally (normal procedure). I agree. First we go to the beach house to get a copy, she remained in the cop station where they told her ass off, and they finally told me she was crazy (after hearing her 100 excuses) and that I shouldn’t tell her where my new location would be. They also told her she was to stay 200 yards from me. The cops were cool, they followed us in the car and would throw up peace signs, we took pics and all that.

The end…… or was it?

I saw her about a month later in Qbar, and she came, we saw each other but she kept her distance. The bartender came over and handed me a beer….she apparently bought me a drink…I passed it over to a friend. She tried to come over and talk…but I didn’t say a word or give her eye contact. She tried to act like nothing ever happened. This chick was wild.

Visiting friends in Shenzhen.

entry: 6/15/13

So I’m in Shenzhen staying with a couple of friends whom I met in Qingdao, Brice (French) and Genesis (Alabama),  they  have relocated here. I’m on a visa run (I have to check out of the country every 90 days). Ive been considering moving to a larger city, being that I’m from LA, Qingdao tends to be a bit small. I figure why not do my visa run in Hong Kong which is 30 min away, but take the time to visit Shenzhen and see what the city is about. I must admit I quite like it, its large, modern and warmer. There’s a lot of foreigners, I notice many of the chinese are from various parts of the country. Shenzhen appears to be a city built to be a sister city for HK.  We have been getting crunk every day, especially at a place called coco plaza, which is a block radius/plaza with nothing but clubs and bars.

Did I forget to mention that good ol Gen, wanted me to feel like home (America) and decided to make some burgers, but she thought it would be a great idea to put the grill on top of her washing machine made out of plastic lol. Good times!

brice, me and gen.

what happened?

I’m getting desensitized to domestic violence.

entry: 5/25/13

I was at a restaurant and I saw a girl get slapped so hard her earrings splashed on the ground like someone emptied a bag of marbles. Instead of making sure she was ok, I was making sure no one tripped on the earring pieces. tf

One of the first things I noticed when I moved here was domestic violence wasn’t rare. Alarming the first time you see it. My first episode was my 2nd month here. I saw a lady getting choked out by her bf IN FRONT of a bouncer who was watching it all go down. We were driving by and I stopped the car, and showed my friends what was going on. They were hesitant, but I demanded they get him off her as he was mounted on top of her and choking her out with 2 hands. Needless to say, the guy  was upset. My boy is a 6ft 4 italian so it was funny to watch the guy try to swing on him in a drunken rage, but I was especially alarmed when the dude ran off into the night, only for him to come back with a metal pipe. Guess who threw themselves in front of him when my friend was about to bash his head in? The girl! wtf.  Its also not rare to hear various neighbors getting into scuffles in just about every apt complex I’ve lived in. You hear glasses break, yelling, fighting, and the cops are never called.

My theory is the lack of communication in relationships as the cause. Chinese have a save face culture. Talking it out is quite rare. I noticed that when something goes wrong, a simple sorry and ignore is the way to go, however we all know that if you’re pissed off……being quiet about it isn’t the way to squash beef. Talking it out is….so what happens is eventually…people explode. Luckily, the level of violence isn’t actually all that physically threatening, they’re not the biggest or most powerful of people. But still…..its quite crazy!

Me and some lady got into a mad dogging mean mugging contest – That QD liquor got folks feeling immortal.

entry: 8/1/12

Both of our eyebrows were down. locked and focused. I then flipped it and put on a thizz face (google it) like I just took a bite out of a lemon. She got scared and put an extra gear in her step. + 1 Knox.

QD liquor got folks thinking they’re immortal. Got folks getting carried out the club by their limbs. Got folks splashing on the ground. Got folks spilling onto the streets. Got chicks dancing on poles. Got dudes taking home loosy goosyes. That QD liquor wild. haha

random thought: apparently if you microwave a boiled egg it explodes into a million pieces. who knew. *shrugs*

Don’t you hate when someones breath smells, you offer them some gum or mints and they decline. It’s like take the god damn mint god dammit! thats that shit I don’t like. Breath smelling like fish soup, tofu, and mushrooms, jesus, then want to be all up in my face breathing in my nostrils and shit. Pisses me off.

beer festival has began in qingdao. yea, we start young out here *shrugs*

Chinese woman v2.0

entry: 7/12/12

Helps with dishes and errands while the phone is attached to the ear THE WHOLE TIME. Its kind of impressive actually. see pic below.

on a different note:

You know why I don’t give chinese people eye contact anymore? because they seem to think that means I know mandarin.

Them: NI HAO MA, NI SHI NAI REN?
Me: MEIYOU

Earlier today I got a little visit. Good to know that when you’re cooking and the ‘silent’ smoke alarm goes off, it alerts the security team down stairs. That’s actually pretty cool. and I didn’t understand a lick of what he said except lunch and window. Pretty sure that’s all he understood when I told him the window and vent were both open. china, where single words can translate an entire sentence lol. ps.

I didn’t burn anything, I was frying something. 😡

I found a great picture of the block/building I stay in. I’m in the building to the right

candice multitasking.

Valentines in China? wtf?

entry: 2/14/12

How am I getting sucked into valentine’s day in China? Who taught them this holiday gah! I thought I was cooking just to cook

her: valentine dinner?

me: wait what?

her: its valentine’s day isn’t it

me: how do you kn……

Ugh I really hate being forced to buy things because of a holiday someone pulled out their….a century ago.. whatever I’ll be nice.  Truth be told, I felt better about the dinner before I knew it was going to be associated with this lame day. Do things because you want to be kind, not because a day tells you too. Oh well guess Im doing the latter regardless. *shrugs*

Chinese women are kinda off. (other random rants)

entry: 1/13/12

Chinese chicks are kinda off. Not that women in general aren’t off, but this is like a different kinda off. Hard to explain but I’m not exactly sure getting used to it is healthy either. I play the game, but jesus help us all. Yes. I am dating my first chinese girl. Bella. and the cultural differences are apparent. Ill get into this further in future blogs.

Me and Bella

Also,  I knew this day would come, but when it did I was in shock. This korean restaurant we went too last night……served dog. I thought I’d be whatever about it, but I got all quiet when they told me. “Mark are you ok, is everything ok” hahaha I was like damn. I actually stopped eating as well.

You know what’s funny, is I find myself feeling a bit strange and uneasy about the lack of local authorities, yet nothing ever happens around here. I wonder why I have this ‘uneasy feeling’ and I’ve come to the conclusion that It’s because I grew up in a police state, so now with no police around, I feel like something should go down any minute. but. nothing. then you think about the U.S and they’ve got the most organized police forces in the world, like LAPD, and there’s still 890 murders a year. Aint that somethin. Don’t get me wrong tho, god forbid we have Qingdao PD replace LAPD, LA would turn into Katrina within 24 hours, but how is it americans think communist china is a police state, when in actuality it’s YOU ALL that live in a police state. Freedom with 8 million laws behind it. *chin stroke*

Asia = Twilight Zone TAKE 4 — I just realized this is the first time I’ve ever lived on the east coast….YET I’m still married to the pacific ocean. WEIRD.