Chinese New Years. This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever experienced in my life

entry: 1/23/12

Fireworks since 6:45am til now 8:45am and it’s snowing outside. NYE was a week ago, but the explosion go on and on for a week to 10 days at all hours, yes ALL HOURS after. It’s the mornings that piss me  off the most. Fuckingassholes, had a dream a rogue communist tank was smashing through shibei only to wake up to fireworks. lol

about 5 yards from my window.

Chinese women are kinda off. (other random rants)

entry: 1/13/12

Chinese chicks are kinda off. Not that women in general aren’t off, but this is like a different kinda off. Hard to explain but I’m not exactly sure getting used to it is healthy either. I play the game, but jesus help us all. Yes. I am dating my first chinese girl. Bella. and the cultural differences are apparent. Ill get into this further in future blogs.

Me and Bella

Also,  I knew this day would come, but when it did I was in shock. This korean restaurant we went too last night……served dog. I thought I’d be whatever about it, but I got all quiet when they told me. “Mark are you ok, is everything ok” hahaha I was like damn. I actually stopped eating as well.

You know what’s funny, is I find myself feeling a bit strange and uneasy about the lack of local authorities, yet nothing ever happens around here. I wonder why I have this ‘uneasy feeling’ and I’ve come to the conclusion that It’s because I grew up in a police state, so now with no police around, I feel like something should go down any minute. but. nothing. then you think about the U.S and they’ve got the most organized police forces in the world, like LAPD, and there’s still 890 murders a year. Aint that somethin. Don’t get me wrong tho, god forbid we have Qingdao PD replace LAPD, LA would turn into Katrina within 24 hours, but how is it americans think communist china is a police state, when in actuality it’s YOU ALL that live in a police state. Freedom with 8 million laws behind it. *chin stroke*

Asia = Twilight Zone TAKE 4 — I just realized this is the first time I’ve ever lived on the east coast….YET I’m still married to the pacific ocean. WEIRD.

Use the Calendar. Pages start from bottom to top/oldest to newest

entry: 12-12-11 –  Playing pool with crowds and random visitors.

I was playing pool yesterday, and the manager/owner walks up, they start talking to Chen in chinese while looking at me. uh oh! Gonna get hauled away! here it comes! Then he goes in his jacket and pulls out a gold VIP card. Basically I no longer have to pay for pool EVER and they love and would enjoy to have my presence as much as possible. AINT THAT SOME SHIT. Never going back home screw all yall. I get treated right over here. *pops collar and dougies*

An hour later, I was playing pool against a random chinese kid and a crowd of 10 people huddle around us to watch. Damn, it gets pretty crazy being the only the black dude around here. I’m used to it, but sometimes it gets a bit insane. Also a random chick on the basement level noticed me and a friend were lost, she knew my apartment number wtf.


random situation this morning:

*wakes up to salesman *

salesman: nihao
me: nihao (in my thickest most accurate mandarin)
salesman: do you speak chinese?
me: *sarcastic stare* I speak perfect chinese (in my non sugar coated english)
salesman: *chinese rambling*
me: dui (yes)
salesman: *chinese rambling*
me: dui (yes)
salesman: *chinese rambling*
me: dui (yes)
salesman: *pause*
me: *blank stare*
salesman: walks away

Barbershop or Massage parlor? *chin stroke*

entry–11/28/11
There are zero barbershops in Qingdao (at least that I’ve seen) edit: since this blog I have seen many barbershops and I go to one every 2 weeks to touch up my mohawk. However their are places that advertise as barbershops that are actually “massage spas” *ahem*  or massage spas that are *ahem*. And it’s not legal but it’s legal lol. They are every where. Also almost every hotel has a “barbershop”, yes I said almost every, that includes 5 stars, in fact, ESPECIALLY 5 stars. Who knew the big bad communist country was like Amsterdam. Jesus. Now where am I going to get an edge up? Maybe at areal massage place? lol
 

Anyways, today I discovered there’s a pool hall on the 1st floor in the mall attached to my apartment complex. I think I’m in heaven lol. What kind of luck is this?

 
I had octopus last night, it’s not that bad, it’s just tough, chewy and takes 100 chews, and the flavor is faint. Christina chomped on the head and had a mouthful of ink. She said that was the best part…..I declined.

octopus head

Spotlight day at my apartment complex

A little about my place, it’s an apartment complex that’s literally attached to a mall with a supermarket in the basement level, next to the parking lot. Yes, this place is massive.

I’m always rolling through there and getting loads of stares but did 2 chinese girls really follow me around the supermarket?  hahaha. Once I noticed and pulled out my video camera, they approached me to take a picture. They were cool, turns out they work at the cigarette shop, so it was funny to find them there when I checked out and found them at the stand, they must have seen me roll through into the supermarket and followed me in there. They look fairly young, and act shy, but I’m not quite sure. We can’t communicate since they don’t speak a lick of english. Not everyones cool though, I got into a mad dogging contest with this loud ass broad on the phone. She broke out her cellphone right there in the aisle and had a loud conversation, then I move to one aisle and she’d reappear, phone in hand – I’m looking at her like wtf?? Why every aisle I go in???
Today was follow me around and stare day. I go into the mall to eat my lunch at a hotspot joint and my waitress Dolly, who insisted to be extra loud when attempting (but failing) to talk to me in English, kept attracting attention our way *sigh* lol. I upgraded my iphone OS, so none of my translators worked of course, what a day, what a day. I should also add, that one waitress (besides Dolly) and a waiter wouldn’t leave my side, of course that just drew even more attention. Today I wanted quiet time but it seemed like spotlight day. Now I understand what it must feel like to be a celebrity. It has it’s moments umph. Eh, This is China.

the mall downstairs from my apartment.

Umm in chinese sounds like “nigga”

11/11/11

the pause ‘umm’ in Chinese sounds like “nigga” so you can imagine the first time I heard “nigga nigga nigga” during a conversation hahahaha. Anyways I’m nice and settled at my new place. Everything is complete. It’s a good feeling. Also I knew this day would come, but a chinese neighbor comes up to me, and says “you have big eyes”. I held my tongue.

 
I got to tour around Qingdao with my friend Chen. I met Chen randomly at a bank where he came up to me and started speaking very good english. It sort of threw me off, he started off with “What are you doing here?” I’ve come to learn this is a common question in China. It’s not meant to be disrespectful but rather they are quite curious and inquisitive people, so they genuinely want to know…what are you doing here? We started talking and he invited me to have lunch with him and his family who were in the car. They were real cool, his wife’s name is Christina, and they have a daughter name Cece who’s 10, very funny and active. They’re all characters who seem to give Chen a hard time, it’s quite comedic. I will get into them a little deeper in future posts, I’m sure. 
 
Such an amazing city. I can get used to this, but damn, driving in Asia is heart stopping. There are no such things as lanes, right of way or lights. And not a highway patrol insight. Insane!

Chen, Christina, and Cece