I live in the Philippines

I never did update my website to inform that I live in Manila now. I have been here since June, so about 4 months and its been the best move I’ve made thus far. Things have been going good and  I plan to buy a house in 2020, yes, I will be here long term. Warm weather, warm people whom speak english, cheap cost of living, and general courtesy that I have missed all these years. Random fact: Outside of North America, Philippines have the most american expats in the world.

 

Anyways I guess I should change my bio to ‘welcome to manila’.   I have begun a new chapter in a new country, and I’m happy.

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Never try a new burger in China

Every so often the chinese will present a new burger of some sort at one of their fast food chains (McDonald’s, Burger King, KFC), think McRib or some other new ‘limited time only’ specials in the U.S. Now, in the U.S,  usually the new limited time only specials are something epic, I mean think about how popular the McRib is, they’ve made a damn Simpson episode about it. Well, that just isn’t the case in china, 10 out of 10 their new burgers or specials are something utterly terrible. I feel as though I’m being trolled or someone just sat in a meeting room thought long and hard about the most random and most disgusting burger they can come up with, because I think, to them, that is what we westerners eat, random combination of ingredients. I don’t think they realize there’s a science to it, actual flavors that have been proven to mesh via decades if not centuries of  trial and error.

I see a new burger at Burger King, but every year I forget not to try any new burgers and to stick to the regular stuff  like a chicken burger made with confetti lettuce (it probably is made out of paper for all I know), but you get sick of the stuff and sometimes you  see something new and because back home you’re programmed to assume the ‘limited time only special’ will be good, you try it. The burger, with what looks like a thick chicken patty, thick cheddar cheese and some sauces looked quite good in the picture, couldn’t read it, just assumed that’s what it was and that it would taste great —WRONG—WRONG. The thick chicken patty was a very small thin layer of fish, the thick cheddar cheese were thick slices of mango, and the sauces were what appeared to be shredded shrimp and ketchup. ABSOLUTELY FOUL. Now at this point my taste buds are confused and my brain is sending a signal of anger. How? Why? Who? I ask my gf if mango and fish are a common combination in china…she says no. THEN WHY, WHY DOES THIS BURGER HAVE IT? I swear, they are just fucking around and trolling at this point. This doesn’t make sense. This is about as dumb as the time I went to the “Burrito” spot and the guy gave me tacos that had slices of almonds in it, and a burrito that had corn, egg plants and I think apricot (I’m not kidding),  or the time I went to a fish and chips place and she used soy sauce instead of tartar. This is an abomination! No one taught them to do this, they are just making stuff up,  mixing them in dishes for absolutely no reason.

This is why  I can’t wait to go home in 2 months. It’s been a little over 2 years since I’ve been home. I am hungry, starving, losing weight, I just want something that taste normal. Is that so hard? Is a beef patty with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and onions that difficult? Is a burrito with carne asada, salsa and cilantro too much to ask? If these lazy ass foreigners aren’t going to open any new restaurants out here (excluding italians), I may just have too, seriously  this makes no sense.

Three day weekend? Not in China.

There’s a lot of holidays in China, some traditional, some national. The traditional ones tend to be the most important, I would rank Chinese New Years the most important, it typically lasts about a week. Other holidays are much shorter such as Autumn Festival (think Thanksgiving) which is usually 3 days. The shorter holidays will start on Thursday, but unlike the U.S., you don’t come into work on Monday, but rather, you have to come into work on Sunday to make up the day you missed due to the holiday. OUCH. That sucks. Be thankful for your 3 day holiday this thanksgiving.

edit: National Holiday is 7 days, the same as Chinese New Years.

On a different note, this Autumn Festival Claire and I took a tour around Qingdao and some small villages on the outskirts of the city, Qingdao is really a beautiful city no wonder I’ve been living here so long. It was nice to see the villages with favela like mountain views of the ocean, it was very green and tranquil in those parts but I couldn’t help but notice that in between there was a lot of construction and big buildings being built in between. What once lied in that area? Will the villages clinging to the cliffs be next? Who knows. I got a chance to record and take some nice video of the tour, I’ll start editing them tomorrow and hopefully have a vlog up later this week it’s been a year since I’ve made a video, even made a couple of sound tracks for it. Let’s see how it goes.

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I haven’t written a blog in months, lets talk about taking a taxi as a black person.

I was going through my timeline and realized my front page looked like a soundcloud. I should probably stop doing that or at least mix it up a bit more. This is, after all, a blog about china.

Today’s topic will be about taking a taxi as a black person. Now I really don’t like getting into china and ‘racism’ because I don’t like to call what they do here racism. Its ignorance. They just don’t know and are afraid of the unknown. They go by stereotypes they see on tv and make vast assumptions, its not their fault, its a country with 1.4 billion people and they’re all yellow, even the internet is chinese *cough cough*.

Uber has been god sent, I no longer have to deal with this but about a week ago I was reminded of what I had to go through when I first moved here. If you’re waiting for a taxi, especially during rush hour or near a chinese person, the odds are you will be passed up. I don’t know why this is, it’s not like they don’t pick you up at night (shouldn’t they be more afraid at night?), it’s not like if you’re alone during the day and on an empty small street they don’t pick you up, they do, in fact its much easier to catch a cab when it would be the most dangerous time to pick up a threat lol, but a busy street next to a chinese person, especially a girl, forget about it you will be passed up  8 out of 10 times. I’ve learned to adapt however, typically I tell the chinese person I’m next too I have next dibs, so when they  inevitably drive past me and to said person 3 yards away, that person knows I have next and they just allow me to get in, some will even open the door for you :). Problem solved. Anyways, I no longer have to do this, uber to save the day, Murica coming in and regulating without even knowing it. 🙂

Stereotyping Dance

Me and my gf Claire were hanging out watching youtube videos when a chinese folk song came on, I proceeded to fan dance with no fans like so

5e5288415206d987729153139c6e5a8b

 

Claire bursts into laughter and tears

“What are you doing?!?!?”

Me: Chinese dancing *fan fan fan* *head tilt**fan*

Her: *rolls on the bed laughing*

Me: Hehe funny eh? How do black people dance?

Her: *stands up* *starts thrusting and gyrating her tiny asian hips*

:*D

Me: What is that?

Her: I dont know, that’s how it looks, like you’re having sex with air

LOL

In retrospect, she’s not wrong *shrugs* *starts twerking*