qingdao

The air quality is somethin’ else, I live on the coast so it’s not that bad, but go inland and the sky looks apocalyptic, but what folks don’t talk about is the water quality.

Something is strange when even with rain cars are never shiny, almost all buildings look dusty and rusty (even only a year after being built, the sides of the building have water marks, drain pipes rust) and everything looks fallout-ish. Not all places, but most. There’s always some underlining thing, like walls never being spotless (even at hospitals) or metals always having rust. Even forks, I remember when I first got here I notice a little bit of rust on my brand new fork in between the teeth only after 6 months, wtf? I thought stainless steel was standard? Or maybe it is and the water and pollution is just that bad? I recommend either buying the most expensive utensils or importing (actually the most expensive utensils are probably imports) In fact, looking around, almost all metals are rusty in some shape or form. It’s alarming.

You do get desensitized and hope you’re just building an immunity, try not to think how all this could be shaving 5 years off your life, but it’s hard when it’s so visual. I mean, it’s not like the U.S doesn’t have pollution and synthesized (insert edibles here) either. We’re all living in a world induced with artificial products and chemicals. I just don’t like to see it so visually LOL.

There are many cultural difference which I have overcome over the years, some are easier than others, as they should be depending on the individual. In this blog, I will talk about the most difficult one for me, yes even more difficult than someone staring at me as if I am not of this planet.

撒娇 or sa jiao, means playfully pouting or flighty, but in chinese it doesn’t have the negative connotation as it does in the west. If you have any experience with chinese women, you have experience with 撒娇. It is ingrained in the culture, it is actually looked at as essential to feminism. Examples of 撒娇 would be pouting with your lips, making a child-like voice from time to time, basically acting like a teenage white girl from the valley after her father refuses to buy her clothes at the mall….actually, its pretty much like acting like a teenage spoiled valley girl from the burbs entirely. Everything from “Buy me this”, “I hurt my knee, look *pouty face*” “why do you love me?” (this question is asked once a week during the episodes of 撒娇), random out bursts and tantrums to get your attention, and so on.

As an american, especially a black american, this is difficult, because after H.S, after 18, you are raised to be like a spartan, independent, self-sufficient, strong, never showing weakness, never retreat, never surr….you get my drift. We learn (including the women, especially black women) very early that showing weakness can make you appear gullible, weak, immature, stupid, traits that aren’t associated with attractiveness in western culture, heck even complaining too much is an utter turn off, you’ll be called “soft” or a “lame” or in regards to women “airhead” “bimbo”. To the chinese man, it makes them feel masculine, to the american man it makes us feel like a pedo. When my gf is having her 撒娇, I try very hard not to be turned off, when she’s showing me an area that she burned while she cooked (no marking of course) with her pouty face and glazed eyes, I try to care, when she needs me to walk her to the bathroom at the lounge, I just go, when she has her random emotional outbursts, random jealousy and clingy episodes to test my emotional attachment to her, I remain calm, when she’s asking me why I love her for the 4345353 time, I just respond with the exact same generic answer. Why? because she’s chinese, this is her culture, I love her and thus ultimately this is what I signed up for.