Did you eat?

I really, really hate when people ask me if I ate. Unless you plan on whipping up a meal don’t ask me this stupid question. If I did, what? if I didn’t what? you gonna whip something up? because if not, don’t ask me this dumb ass question. My stomach will remind me to eat, you don’t need to ask. I can assure you, that my body will tell me that it needs calories to survive, I don’t need another human being to curiously ask me if its been filled. Do I ask you “you put gas in your car this afternoon? make sure to put gas in your car”   I know it’s courtesy in some cultures, to show you care, yea well in my culture its a dumb ass question. How about a more in depth question? “What has been filling your mind these past 3 days”  see? now thats a good one huh? ffs

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I live in the Philippines

I never did update my website to inform that I live in Manila now. I have been here since June, so about 4 months and its been the best move I’ve made thus far. Things have been going good and  I plan to buy a house in 2020, yes, I will be here long term. Warm weather, warm people whom speak english, cheap cost of living, and general courtesy that I have missed all these years. Random fact: Outside of North America, Philippines have the most american expats in the world.

 

Anyways I guess I should change my bio to ‘welcome to manila’.   I have begun a new chapter in a new country, and I’m happy.

Never try a new burger in China

Every so often the chinese will present a new burger of some sort at one of their fast food chains (McDonald’s, Burger King, KFC), think McRib or some other new ‘limited time only’ specials in the U.S. Now, in the U.S,  usually the new limited time only specials are something epic, I mean think about how popular the McRib is, they’ve made a damn Simpson episode about it. Well, that just isn’t the case in china, 10 out of 10 their new burgers or specials are something utterly terrible. I feel as though I’m being trolled or someone just sat in a meeting room thought long and hard about the most random and most disgusting burger they can come up with, because I think, to them, that is what we westerners eat, random combination of ingredients. I don’t think they realize there’s a science to it, actual flavors that have been proven to mesh via decades if not centuries of  trial and error.

I see a new burger at Burger King, but every year I forget not to try any new burgers and to stick to the regular stuff  like a chicken burger made with confetti lettuce (it probably is made out of paper for all I know), but you get sick of the stuff and sometimes you  see something new and because back home you’re programmed to assume the ‘limited time only special’ will be good, you try it. The burger, with what looks like a thick chicken patty, thick cheddar cheese and some sauces looked quite good in the picture, couldn’t read it, just assumed that’s what it was and that it would taste great —WRONG—WRONG. The thick chicken patty was a very small thin layer of fish, the thick cheddar cheese were thick slices of mango, and the sauces were what appeared to be shredded shrimp and ketchup. ABSOLUTELY FOUL. Now at this point my taste buds are confused and my brain is sending a signal of anger. How? Why? Who? I ask my gf if mango and fish are a common combination in china…she says no. THEN WHY, WHY DOES THIS BURGER HAVE IT? I swear, they are just fucking around and trolling at this point. This doesn’t make sense. This is about as dumb as the time I went to the “Burrito” spot and the guy gave me tacos that had slices of almonds in it, and a burrito that had corn, egg plants and I think apricot (I’m not kidding),  or the time I went to a fish and chips place and she used soy sauce instead of tartar. This is an abomination! No one taught them to do this, they are just making stuff up,  mixing them in dishes for absolutely no reason.

This is why  I can’t wait to go home in 2 months. It’s been a little over 2 years since I’ve been home. I am hungry, starving, losing weight, I just want something that taste normal. Is that so hard? Is a beef patty with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and onions that difficult? Is a burrito with carne asada, salsa and cilantro too much to ask? If these lazy ass foreigners aren’t going to open any new restaurants out here (excluding italians), I may just have too, seriously  this makes no sense.

I’ve never seen a 1 on 1 fight here

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A friend of mine talked about how he witnessed a fight break out last week new year’s eve,  some guy got stomped out something vicious, we talked about why did the guy need to get jumped since the argument was between him and one other guy, and his friends really didn’t have to jump in, the guy was much smaller. This lead to a discussion, we’ve never witnessed a one on one fight here in China. Whether it be chinese vs chinese and/or ESPECIALLY  foreigner vs chinese. You (foreigner) could be getting into an argument with a stranger and if words start going south, the chinese will come out of the woodworks, across the street, manholes, balconies, everywhere, and they will more than likely side with the chinese person even if he is at fault (you might get lucky and have a good samaritan that will try to get you out of the jam and make an opening to flee), but chances are…you’re going to take a proper beating and you won’t stand a chance, it’ll be like a Bruce Lee movie except you’re not Bruce Lee and the pack of men whoop your ass.

I can sort of understand why they’d do it against foreigners especially with the history of humilation via various occupations, but I can’t quite comprehend why they do it to each other. They will get into an argument and both parties will literally jump on the phone and call their squad, next thing you know there’s 5 min of shouting and then a dozen guys show up from all sides, and if they don’t call friends, doesn’t matter, strangers will take sides and duke it out, they’ll literally fill the vacuum hahaha. It’s as though no one wants to be embarassed running a fair fight and losing so to assure it doesn’t happen, they call their family, clan, friends, classmates, and summon ancestors from 10,000 years ago. Amazing. Don’t get into fights out here unless you’re mobbing deep.

On a different note: HAPPY NEW YEAR. This is my first blog of 2017. So many new beginnings, I now have a podcast! make sure to subscribe! https://www.youtube.com/c/GoodbyeChinaPodcast

I also have a new track with Ms.Kirin whom I will now be co-producing with. She asked me to teach her how to produce a year or so ago, and then made a couple of beats and we’ve decided to join forces. Our first track.

Chinese abroad in single are Dragons, Chinese as a whole at home are like bugs.

I was told this saying by a chinese person who was complaining about how Chinese companies abroad are taking over massive projects effectively, yet, within China companies are ran horrifically (not all, but many), having such traditions such as bribing your way to the top, hiding errors from your boss to save face which in turn affects production, floods of poor quality products. Yet, when you look at some of the chinese companies abroad they can pretty much compete with anyone. Pakistan have some new state of the art ports, they’re building hydro dams in africa, many solar panels and real estate projects in the U.S (they’ve got one of the biggest offices in the twin towers). One can only take such a saying to heart. It really does make sense. When the Chinese are individual, or outside of China, their work ethics magically change, but when there is nothing but chinese in China, something changes. I wonder what that is? Is the fact that within China they follow chinese culture/tradition?  and abroad they have to be more modernized and use global standard? Imagine what would happen when china finally breaks free from  its save face culture, and really starts to have an open mind and evolve from it’s older style way of thinking. Tradition is great, but we no longer think the way we did in the 1500s, and times have changed, it’s time to get with the program. And when the Chinese are on the program, they are dragons, it’s proven.

Stereotyping Dance

Me and my gf Claire were hanging out watching youtube videos when a chinese folk song came on, I proceeded to fan dance with no fans like so

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Claire bursts into laughter and tears

“What are you doing?!?!?”

Me: Chinese dancing *fan fan fan* *head tilt**fan*

Her: *rolls on the bed laughing*

Me: Hehe funny eh? How do black people dance?

Her: *stands up* *starts thrusting and gyrating her tiny asian hips*

:*D

Me: What is that?

Her: I dont know, that’s how it looks, like you’re having sex with air

LOL

In retrospect, she’s not wrong *shrugs* *starts twerking*

 

 

 

 

 

I’m not sure if it’s just Qingdao, but american expats never congregate.

I’m not sure if it’s just Qingdao, but american expats never congregate during our ‘holidays’ like 4th of july etc etc. I’m not complaining, but its interesting to see various countries come together for their festivals, whether it be independents, muslim holidays,  but when its american holidays…you see more europeans and chinese celebrating and posting ‘happy 4th’ than actual americans. I’m not exactly sure why that is, but it’s bizarre. Do we just not care? Have no pride? Find shame? Find lame? Do other people just enjoy celebrating them because they want to mimic off american tv shows since it looks ‘cool’? Even religious holidays like Christmas, I notice groups come together like the French and their dinners, the Italians, but you will never here of the Americans getting together, not even for a superbowl. While aborad, we tend to just blend in with everyone else and give each other the head nod rather than unite. Maybe we just think it’s kind of corny? who knows.

Updates

I haven’t been blogging much. Basically my birthday just past and on the same day I ‘damaged’ my camera for the third time, I swear the lens is weak as piss because I’ve had to go to the notorious computer city for the third time now. I’m still alive and well, but recently I’ve been doing a lot of freelance work and making beats on my spare time trying to finish up this instrumental mixtape (clips down below). But other than that, life has been good, Qingdao is getting colder and I’ll probably be more indoors this winter making music and playing PS4 with the dozen or so games I haven’t been able to play lately. Seriously, I’m aging, and I have the love of my life, the club scene and wildin’ out has faded from my life, and quite frankly I’m glad. Everything is falling into place exactly as I wanted it.

That doesn’t mean no fuckery though, you’re subscribed to me, you know there’s always fuckery. So last weekend (here we go), I wake up with a toothache. Now typically I use champagne to numb whatever dumb shit is happening to my teeth because to be honest I have teeth problems (they’re not crooked or rotting, just aches here and there) due to my love of (sour) candy, I can’t help it, it’s an addiction since I was a teen. But anyways I wake up like whoa whoa what is this????? side of my face felt like a big girl sat on it and it was half flat…that’s around the time I knew hmmmmm maybe I should get this checked out, it kept throbbing more intensely every hour! whoa whoa. By 4pm, I was hauling it to the dentist office, luckily we have one literally a half a block away right next door and they are western educated and speak english. Now, I have  been to this place before they wanted to take a wisdom tooth out and it was fail (I’ll get into this another time) but I had a new dentist named Dr. Irene. I swear, within 5 min of going there she had me in the seat, x-rayed and shot up with novocane, 10 min after, teeth pulled and one root canal, best DR ever! I was feeling great, she pulled a tooth which had already been broken in half from a root canal that was neglected. Kind of strange to see a chunk of bone come out of your mouth, it threw me off.

My jaw is a bit sore and I’m using my secret champagne remedy to numb the area since they don’t have painkillers (thank god), but it’s kept me out of commission these past few days, it’s getting better though, so don’t worry.

I’m doing aright other than that, just living life, going to sort out my camera in a couple of days, and I’m supposed to travel to Korea in a week, hopefully its fixed by then and I can have some cools shots of the DMZ.

Anyways, it’s late and I’m tired, but I just wanted to let yall I am safe and sound, take care folks!

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