I was in the shower then…..

I see this mid sized hairy spider on the wall. I’m like “you know you dun fucked up right? now you know you dun fucked up?” I aim my AK shower head at it, and right before the water hit it, it jumped off the wall, and at me. why did I do the chicken dance like Mayweather hit me with a stiff left jab, then did the dougie (if you’re under 30 just google it), and I may or may not have let out a homer simpson scream. son of a bi…..and I don’t think it went in the drain, so this bastard is still in the house, and now vengeful. FUCK.

Just saying

you ever notice women with solid men do the least amount of talking online. no quotes, no stories, no nothing. Too busy taking care of them to even bother being on here swanning. and men themselves will tell the woman ‘you’re doing too much knock that shit off’. thats how i know which friends are in good marriages, the ones i hardly see posting on here. yall know who you are. good job you, im proud of you. me on the other hand. everybody getting smashed and 100 thots posting subliminals and soundtracks about my demise. smh. too old for this.